Tragedy can hit you anytime. Family members will die and those around you will undoubtedly suffer. Relationships fall apart, careers get stagnant and business (and people) often fail. It’s not how hard we fall, it’s how quick we are to get back up and rebuild our lives that really matters.
When these tragedies hit, it’s up to us. Do we make them worse, or do we help resolve them? Do we escalate the problem or find a solution? I’ve been working with a couple of clients recently who have been through some horrific experiences that they have had to admit their behaviour contributed to. The experience of working with these clients has given me some thoughts that I’d like to share with you to help you handle the hurdles we all inevitably face as we move through life.
Take responsibility for your contributions
How did you contribute to the situation? Did you do your best to uphold integrity in all of your decisions?
Whether it be a family bereavement or relationship break-up, we can all say and do things in the heat of the moment that we later regret.
Take responsibility for how you react to situations and circumstances. It is under your control.
Tell the truth
Lies fundamentally distort the psyche. Even small ones, that’s right!
It can allow us to justify it to ourselves and sometimes deceive ourselves into the new perception of reality that isn’t based on substance or absolute truth.
Be sure to tell the truth in any and all situations if you want to be part of the solution, not the problem.
You are not always right, and some things are just a matter of opinion. Having the ability to relate to others in a way that is not condescending or in contempt is the only way you can handle the hurdles that come in all areas of life with respect and dignity.
Learn to take a new perspective on issues and see things from another person’s point of view. We are all different, and that difference should be embraced.
Not only should our differences be embraced, but change should too. The “end” doesn’t have to be a bad thing, and there is always a silver lining – no matter how hard you have to look.
Being open to change and adapting to new environments is going to be a must-have skill for anyone who wants to be mentally stable in the coming decades. We live in a forever changing world, our problems twenty years from now are inconceivable at this point in time.
There’s no way to know we will react to unknown issues, therefore our ability to adapt will reign supreme.
Think about the bigger picture
Take yourself out of your current situation for the second. What matters? In the long-term, how significant is this current experience or feeling? No matter what, there is always a tomorrow. And for most of us, we have years and years ahead.
Your situation may be difficult and your problem may be tough. Take a second out and consider how significant this event will be in ten years, it will certainly help change your perspective.